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I am fat

I am fat

Often when we hear a person refer to themselves as fat we will immediately say, that’s not true or don’t say that! Even if it is very much the truth. Somewhere along the line, the word fat got aligned with ugly and if you were calling yourself fat then you were in a way admitting you were ugly. That you had no body confidence. Here is the thing, I am a size 22-24. I am plus-sized. I am fat.

By calling myself fat that doesn’t mean that I don’t think I’m pretty. I, like every person in the world have their good and bad days. I have days where I am TOTALLY feeling myself and other days where I just want to blend in and hope that no one notices me. Just because I’m fat, doesn’t make me different from most human emotions. Trust me when I say that I am aware of my size. I’m aware that often when people hear my American accent they judge me slightly for being fat and sometimes it gets to me and other times I smile because, well, so what?

I am fat.

When I was younger and I would say I was fat and my family, my friends would say no, no, no. You are not fat. You are beautiful. I wonder sometimes if maybe I would have loved myself a little bit more and at a younger age if they had just said okay? So what? I wonder if they wouldn’t have felt the need to defend me against myself if our perception of the word fat hadn’t been so strongly tied to not being beautiful? If by calling myself fat, it didn’t put a weird and awkward tension in the air.

I try to not let being fat define me because I am more than the number on the scale or my pant size. I’m Amanda. I laugh a little too loud and I cry in almost every movie from something that makes me happy to sad. I use ellipses way too much and if I could, I would eat a Taco right now. I am in a healthy and wonderful relationship. My curly hair is just now starting to figure out what I want it to do and I love wearing my skinny black jeans. Being fat does not define me. It is just what I am, not who I am.

So the next time you hear me call myself fat. Don’t say I’m not. We are both better than that.

Until next time.

And big love to Annette for inspiring me to write this and for just being awesome. You can check her out here.

10 thoughts on “I am fat”

  • Yes yes yes!! I love this post. So fabulous. I 100% relate. Time for us fat ladies to reclaim the word! Meghan Tonjes posted the best meme the other day, about this very thing.

    Me: I’m fat.
    Others: No you’re not, you’re beautiful.
    Me: Did I say I was ugly?

    So dead on. Thanks for being so brave and paving the way for everyone behind you 😊

    • Thank you! I read your post last night and between you and Annette I just had to write this it. It had been playing in my head and I felt like I needed to share! I’m heading to Asia in June so you can best believe I’ll be stalking your site! Xx

  • I admire how honest and brave you are. I’ve always struggled with my body image and my family criticise me daily and friends don’t say it outright to my face but I know they talk about my weight fluctuations. Being a contemporary dancer and dance teacher puts the forefront of my body in front of others all the time. I know that I’ve lost jobs because of my body not being as taut as others. Its a tough subject for me and one I think I will continue to face as inner and outer demons.

    • Wow, thanks for sharing that and can imagine that it can be hard in your profession. It’s about taking the word fat back and not having it associated with ugly or low-confidence. I wish you the best and if you ever need to talk I’m here 🙂 xx

  • Woohoo! I’m fat too. I’m also tall and I have brown hair and I’m very loud. These are just facts, just things. They don’t mean anything more than what they are. And they’re all wonderful pieces that make up the fabulousness that is me. So yay for us! It’s such a pet peeve for me when I casually describe myself as fat off-hand in a conversation and someone gasps and is like NO YOU’RE NOT as if being fat is like a fucking curse or a death sentence or something. Like, yes, I am fat, but I’m sorry you’re so worried about associating to a fat person that you have to justify it in your own mind by being like “well, but she’s CURVY, not fat. And she has such a pretty face!” One of these days we’re gonna take back the word fat and make it not a “bad word” anymore.

  • You hit the nail right on the head with this post. I am somewhere between normal and fat (or so I feel) and I think unless your weight has a negative effect on your weight, you shouldn´t have to fret about it too much. I used to try to lose weight a lot before, but now I just made peace with myself 🙂

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